I like to be alone. →

Micah Marie:

Yeah, that's right. I like to be alone. Don't misunderstand this though. I don't like to be lonely, if this makes any sense whatsoever. But I do, I like having "me" time. I like being alone. It gives me time to evaluate myself and my relationships with others. It doesn't necessarily even have to be about contemplating the meaning of life and other profound things. I also just like to sit there and watch movies, and read books, or clean and take my time to do whatever I want. I'm often busy tending to others and life feels so fast-paced sometimes. My mind feels so occupied all the time. So I truly cherish the moments I have alone, when my mind can just be free.

But ironically enough, it would be nice to have someone to just be alone with. It'd be nice to just be able to call up a friend to talk over coffee, or to have them come over and just sit around and watch movies with me. We don't even have to talk. We could just share each other's presence in silence. Don't get me wrong, I could do all of these things with my boyfriend. But a friendship is different. A lover should be your best friend, but not the only one. Sometimes I feel like calling up girlfriends is pointless. They almost always want to go out to a party or the nightclubs. I do enjoy going out, but not all the time, especially not in single-people environments. I feel so out of place. All of my closest friends have moved away, and it's difficult to coordinate free time to converse on the phone. I've always been more into quality, not quantity. And it's hard to find genuine friendships. Alright, I'm just blabbering on now. I started going off on a tangent, and forgot the real purpose of this post. I don't even know what I'm really trying to say. I don't even think anyone else would understand either.

People have always told me that I'm a very social person, but I don't feel like it. Truth is, I think I'm just an awkward person who is scared to trust people. I just make a bunch of small talk or talk about things that don't really matter, because I can't trust just anyone with who I really am.

Don't mind this post that doesn't make any sense.