Forgiveness is a decision, not a right. We forgive to step towards peace, not because we have found someone worthy of it.

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.

I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.

I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.

I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

If they respect you, respect them. If they disrespect you, still respect them. Do not allow the actions of others to decrease your good manners, because you represent yourself, not others.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a reason,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a season,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can't change.

by Unknown

As Maria Robinson once said, "nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." nothing could be closer to the truth. but before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. here are some ideas to get you started:

• Stop spending time with the wrong people.: life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. if someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. you shouldn't have to fight for a spot. never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. and remember, it's not the people that stand by your side when you're at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you're at your worst that are your true friends.

• Stop running from your problems.: face them head on. no, it won't be easy. there is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. we aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. that's not how we're made. in fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. because that's the whole purpose of living: to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. this is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

• Stop lying to yourself.: you can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can't lie to yourself. our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

• Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.: the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. yes, help others; but help yourself too. if there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

• Stop trying to be someone you're not.: one of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else. someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. don't change so people will like you. be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

• Stop trying to hold onto the past.: you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

• Stop being scared to make a mistake.: doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. you end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

• Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.: we may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. we all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

• Stop trying to buy happiness.: many of the things we desire are expensive. but the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free: love, laughter and working on our passions.

• Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.: if you're not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. you have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

• Stop being idle.: don't think too much or you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. evaluate situations and take decisive action. you cannot change what you refuse to confront. making progress involves risk. period! you can't make it to second base with your foot on first.

• Stop thinking you're not ready.: nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.

• Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.: relationships must be chosen wisely. it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. there's no need to rush. if something is meant to be, it will happen: in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

• Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn't work.: in life you'll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. but most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

• Stop trying to compete against everyone else.: don't worry about what others doing better than you. concentrate on beating your own records every day. success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

• Stop being jealous of others.: jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. ask yourself this: "what's something i have that everyone wants?"

• Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.: life's curveballs are thrown for a reason: to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. you may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. but reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. you'll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. so smile! let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

• Stop holding grudges.: don't live your life with hate in your heart. you will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. forgiveness is not saying, "what you did to me is okay." it is saying, "i'm not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever." forgiveness is the answer"¦ let go, find peace, liberate yourself! and remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it's for you too. if you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

• Stop letting others bring you down to their level.: refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

• Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. just do what you know in your heart is right.

• Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break.: the time to take a deep breath is when you don't have time for it. if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

• Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.: enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. the best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

• Stop trying to make things perfect.: the real world doesn't reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

• Stop following the path of least resistance.: life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. don't take the easy way out. do something extraordinary.

• Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn't.: it's okay to fall apart for a little while. you don't always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. you shouldn't be concerned with what other people are thinking either: cry if you need to: it's healthy to shed your tears. the sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

• Stop blaming others for your troubles.: the extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. when you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility: you give others power over that part of your life.

• Stop trying to be everything to everyone.: doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. but making one person smile CAN change the world. maybe not the whole world, but their world. so narrow your focus.

• Stop worrying so much.: worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. one way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "will this matter in one year's time? three years? five years?" if not, then it's not worth worrying about.

• Stop focusing on what you don't want to happen.: focus on what you do want to happen. positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. if you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often find that you're right.

• Stop being ungrateful.: no matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

keshialee:

I think depending on what you're doing, and what you're going through throughout your life, you have sets of friends.

You have friends for this particular sport you do, because of a hobby you have whether it be music, dance, or anything like that. And your friends are really different, all of them. and you go through a stage when all you do is be with them everyday, then all of a sudden you find yourself hanging around another set of friends.

but that doesn't mean you've forgotten anything that you've been through with them. After being with someone or a group of people everyday you pretty much know their insides and outs. Just because you stop hanging out with someone for a while doesn't mean you don't want to be around them, it just means life is throwing you in a different direction, and the next stage in life.

We learn the most by growing from others. The people we surround ourselves with will make a huge impact on our lives.

I miss so many people, it's inevitable to say “i miss you.” i've met some of the most amazing people in my life.

and people have been in and out, but that doesn't mean they're out forever. it means they're out living their lives and living their dreams. everyone goes through stages of friends, but throughout those stages, i'll keep and remember all of the friendships and memories i've made throughout my lifetime.

THIS.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially of everyone I've met since Summer 2008.

I miss those endless hours on BlogTV. I miss those all-night Skype calls and Tokbox slumber parties. I miss seeing the same friendly faces at JAG every week. I miss driving to NorCal or San Diego on back-to-back-to-back weekends. I miss having a FB invite every week to a show that EVERYONE will be at. I miss flying all over the place so I could spend time with friends and meet more amazing people.

But I'm forcing myself to keep a low-profile. I have to do what's best for me, and at the moment, that means focusing on getting my career back on track.

I know that life is pulling you all into different directions too, whether it's for school, work, music or your relationship with your significant other. Whatever it is you're focusing on, I fully support you doing whatever is best for you.

I miss you all dearly. And even though we don't hang out as much as we used to, I know the next time we do, it'll be like we never skipped a beat.

Love you all. Always. <3

-Mel

I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

—Achilles, played by Brad Pitt in the movie, "Troy"

I love love love this scene. Not because of the religious stuff or cuz Brad Pitt gets half-naked...but cuz it reinforces the idea of cherishing what you have like there is no tomorrow.

Like the final months of each major chapter in my life:

• My final year of middle school before going off to boarding school.

• My senior year of boarding school

• My last summer vacation in Saudi Arabia before moving to the states permanently.

• My final year of college.

I remember those times better than any other. I knew those moments would be my last, so I really savored every bit of it.

Unfortunately for most of those years in between, I somewhat took for granted. I kinda lived through those years by just going through the motions of things. It's just too easy to fall into that kinda trap when you have that overoptimistic mentality of "forever."

But when you realize that all things in your life could be pulled from right under you at any moment...you learn to truly appreciate everything.

Unknown:

throughout my life, i have seen numerous guy friends get whooped. whooped by some girl who isn't going to mean much to him in the long run. but during that short period of time when the relationship is rolling, the guy tends to forget about his other responsibilities. this is where i come in to set everything straight.

bros before hoes. that's the one and only rule. well, don't cheat on the gal...i guess that's another rule. but anyways, i'm not saying that all girls are hoes or anything, so ladies, don't get offended. it's just a generalized term used to describe all the women out there who mess with a guy and take him away from his friends.

a lot of times, it's necessary to take a step back and look at the big picture. if all your life you grew up with a group of guys, then you must place them higher than any short term girlfriend. it makes sense b/c the longer you know someone, the more you should trust them and the more they should mean to you. the problem with guys is that we always think with our hormones and not our heads, so when you meet this girl, you are willing to drop everything for her b/c you think she is perfect. (which goes back to my other point in the other plan that guys tend to think they know the girl well when they really don't). so they drop everything for this girl and he loses all contact with his other friends...but after the relationship ends, he finds himself with no friends to turn to, since he betrayed them all. hahaha. who you gonna turn to now, boy??? IDIOT!

but there is also a lot of misconception as to when or how a guy disses his boy by choosing the girl over his boys. scenario: you promise the girl you'd have lunch with her and then later the guys ask if you want to join THEM for lunch. you say no b/c you're supposed to eat with your girl. are you a diss? NO, you're just trying to be a man of your word. guys who consider that to be a diss are a bunch of morons. but if the girl messes with your previously arranged plans with your guy friends, then there's a prob. or when all you ever talk about with your guy friends is your girlfriend, then there is also another prob. or when the guy is willing to do much bigger favors for the girl than for his boys, then there is a HUGE problem. i know guys who'd drive the girl practically anywhere but would have a fit if you asked him for a ride home. bitter? nah...it just makes decisions about how much you wanna invest in the friendship a lot more easier. actually, to be honest, i haven't been dissed a lot by guy friends...but that's only b/c my friends and i are all losers who can't get any girls anyways. But you can still be a diss even if you never have a girl...lots of guys drop their friends in PURSUIT of a girl...and they end up empty handed. haha.

the true character of a guy is revealed by how he treats his guy friends. anyone can be sweet to a girl that he likes, but it takes a lot more character to be generous and understanding to another guy. why? because close guy friends have nothing to offer unless you're a flaming homosexual with overpowering strength (tom kim) and also b/c since the guys are so close, you can observe how he acts around those who he feels comfortable around. so if he treats his close friends like crap, then be ready to expect the same from him later down the line when he feels comfortable around you. that's why i hate guys who are nice to girls and only girls. girls justify it by saying "well, you just gotta get to KNOW him and his sensitive side...he's just misunderstood..." i say that it's a bunch of BS. a jerk is a jerk is a jerk. they just show no character or class.

girls tend not to ever realize that they are taking their "man" away from his guy friends. so girls, try to be more aware of everything. understand that a guy needs his guy friends, just as a girl needs her girl friends. be understanding if he needs to sacrifice time with you to be with the friends he grew up with. a hoe ain't gonna understand and will demand that the guy give her all of his attention 24/7. a real woman is secure enough in the relationship to loosen that leash a little so that he can live a halfway normal life.

guys, don't lose sight of what's important. don't put all your eggs in one basket, cuz if it falls, then not only do you lose all your eggs, but you feel like a loser for dropping the basket, too. but if you want the girl to understand your need to be with your boys, then make sure you can make her secure in the relationship, otherwise you aren't doing your job as a man. don't be with the guys and neglect the girl, either. but all in all, girls come and go, but friends...well, friends come and go, too. but it just looks better to drop a hoe than to drop your friends. remember, she may be sweet, she may be wonderful, but if she tries to take you away from what made you YOU, then she ain't nuthin' but a HOE. =)

some guys seem to forget...

Original Post

on the flight to new york i was flipping thru those lame Sky Mall catalogs. normally the products they sell are pretty lame but i found a few pages dedicated to those Inspirational Posters that you see around. there was this one poster in particular that caught my eye:

The Power of Attitude

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we react to what happens; not by what life brings us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst....a spark that creates extraordinary results.

daaamn, that was deep; and its so true.

if you remember my Energy & Emotions deep thought, i talked about how positive and negative emotions are just like energy -- than can not be created nor destroyed, only converted from one form or another. if you think about it, your attitude is what determines whether outside forces are converted to positive or negative emotions.

i'm sure you can think of a few people that are pessimists. you can mention just one word to them and they could go on for hours just bitching about it.

i remember in highschool i was talking to this one girl...

Girl #2: hey, i like your shirt!!
Girl #1: thanks!!
Girl #1: (bitch...)

instead of being happy for the compliment, the girl i was talking to started bitching.

Girl #1: she's jealous of me.
Girl #1:she's supposed to say 'you look great in that shirt.'
Girl #1:the way she said it, it implies that the shirt looks good but i don't.

you see what i mean? clearly, Girl #2 was just giving a compliment but Girl #1 managed to twist the whole situation and turn it into negative feelings. crazy, eh? that's the way pessimistic people work -- everything that happens becomes personal in a negative way.

okay, so that's the pessimistic side; that's one end of the spectrum of attitude. but lets not forget that there are two sides of every spectrum. if there's someone that can always find something to bitch about, then at the opposite end of the spectrum there has to be the person that can always find the light in any situation. this person is the optimist. (duh)

you see, the optimist understands that life will have its ups and downs. the optimist understands failure and learning from mistakes. the optimist understands imperfection.

so why is it that we find so many pessimists in our lives and not enough optimists? why is it that we can easily scroll down our buddylists and find at least one person saying something negative in their profile or away message?

all it takes is changing the way we think. and when we do that, life becomes a whole lot more pleasant.

having said that, i'd like to leave you with one last quote (which is a personl favorite of mine):

Stress is not caused by others; its caused by our reaction to others.