That's why you know you've hit it big -- when you've got a ketchup pump.

Long distance call from my co-worker:

Harv: Yo Mel, what are you doing right now?
Mel: Yo, just chillin' at home. Why, what's up?
Harv: I'm in Knoxville, Tennessee. I want you to talk to somebody we just met.
Somebody: Yo Mel! It's Mark Mowbr@y!

:omg2: WTF??!

SMALL FUCKING WORLD?!!! :coold:

mel@work: we were talking back here about a social network for people with STDs
mel@work: and it would be like friendster
mel@work: where you could see how people are connected
ryan@work: HAHAH
mel@work: like up to 6 degrees
mel@work: so we thought SixDegreesOfSTDs.com
mel@work: but that shit is fucking TAKEN
ryan@work: WTF
ryan@work: LOL
mel@work: "wtf ryan? why are you directly connected to another guy??"
ryan@work: bahha
ryan@work: more like "wtf ryan? why are you directly connected to paris hilton?"
mel@work: dude, i wonder what kinda CPM you'd get from google ads
mel@work: text ads for herpes cremes
ryan@work: bahah
ryan@work: considering that 1 in 5 teenagers have a STD... a lot
mel@work: "ryan added 50 friends"
mel@work: hahahahahahahaa
ryan@work: "mel added 100 friends. 95 guys, 5 girls"
mel@work: i wonder what Top Friends would mean
ryan@work: JAJAAHHAHA
ryan@work: best fucks?
mel@work: worst std?
mel@work: jesus
ryan@work: lol
mel@work: could you imagine the Advanced Search
ryan@work: lol
mel@work: group by STD, order by most recently diagnosed
ryan@work: group by severity
ryan@work: lol

Let's set his face on fire and put it out with baseball bats!

Mel: you talk to the new ceo already?

Andrew: yes

Andrew: he said we have to cut costs

Andrew: sorry mel

Mel: hahahah

Mel: what else?

Andrew: mandatory 8 am check in time

Mel: fuuuck no

Andrew: and healthy lunches only

Mel: noooooooooooooooooooooes

June 20, 2007:

melmyfinger: you play with the iPhone yet?
swisher59: lol not yet but my friend just bught one today
melmyfinger: i just got back from Fashion Island
melmyfinger: apple store was packed
melmyfinger: it's pretty slick, mang
melmyfinger: they keyboard is gonna take some getting used to if i got one
swisher59: ya
swisher59: so you played with it
swisher59: worth it?
melmyfinger: i wouldn't buy it
melmyfinger: not right now
melmyfinger: i'd wait for a major revision at least
melmyfinger: the internet was lagging like crazy
swisher59: probably a huge influx of users really
swisher59: edge is gay anyway
melmyfinger: yah mon
melmyfinger: when they support 3G or whatever
melmyfinger: and knock off $100, i'll consider it
swisher59: i love mytreo though
swisher59: i'll run that into the ground
swisher59: until iphone has gps

August 8, 2007:

melmyfinger: man, the iphone is such a stupid investment
melmyfinger: so damn expensive
melmyfinger: but i got one anyways
swisher59: LOL
swisher59: funny you say that...
swisher59: cause...
swisher59: i feel like this is iphone anonymous
melmyfinger: hahaha
melmyfinger: you got one too?
swisher59: actually i have the cash in my pocket right now
swisher59: i'm going to the store in 15 minutes
swisher59: ironic huh

..for all the birthday wishes! (listed in chronological order):

• april
• elisa
• melissa
• taz
• farah
• jizzon
• dan
• wing
• jason c.
• shereen
• ariana
• will t.
• samir
• amy
• mom
• alex s.
• joe l.
• ariana
• soren
• kim
• laila
• tracie
• raynell
• thomas
• rebecca
• andrew
• marianne
• james
• holly h.
• gary
• chris
• ashley
• gino
• loren
• phatts
• chin
• janet
• cristina
• karen
• SJ
• alan
• sierra
• zachary
• daniel s.
• melissa's mom
• michael
• stan
• erol
• ranier
• sherwin
• andrew c.
• chain
• sean

much love.

Last Night on AIM:

melmyfinger: i'm goin with...leopard, new monitor w/ isight (24" and other sizes), airport extreme 2 and...iphone
melmyfinger: cingular
swisher59: IPHONE IS A MYTH
swisher59: lol
swisher59: i DO NOT believe it's real
melmyfinger: it will come
swisher59: all these leaks are smoke and mirrors
melmyfinger: tomorrow is a longshot, but it will come
swisher59: cmon ipod phone? get the fuck out of here
swisher59: the market would suck for it
swisher59: unless you can get an awesome ipod AND an awesome phone together
swisher59: biatch, please.
melmyfinger: i still believe
melmyfinger: two batteries, one for music and the other for the phone
melmyfinger: i don't think they'll support mobile itunes shoppping yet
swisher59: IT'S NOT REAL MEL
swisher59: lol
swisher59: OPEN YOUR EYES
melmyfinger: but maybe a way to browse, bookmark songs and then download later upon sync
swisher59: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE
swisher59: k how about this
melmyfinger: you're just saying that so when it does come out, you'll shit your pants with excitement

swisher59: okay how about this
swisher59: if i win
swisher59: your blog has to say, in its first post headline
swisher59: I LOVE COCK. GO TO SHERWINFONG.COM, HE ROCKS!
melmyfinger: hahahahaa
swisher59: and if i lose i'll do the opposite, i spose? although you get more traffic :-(
melmyfinger: you on facebook too?
swisher59: LOL
swisher59: ruh roh
swisher59: okay facebook bet
melmyfinger: i get your blog, your myspace blog and your facebook status message
melmyfinger: and vice versa
melmyfinger: I LOVE COCK. GO TO MELMYFINGER.COM. HE ROCKS!
swisher59: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
melmyfinger: and no explaining that it's a bet until 24 hours after you post

melmyfinger: apple will announce a telephony device tomorrow
swisher59: k, it's on
swisher59: online shake
melmyfinger: online shake

The morning after...

http://www.sherwinfong.com/2007/01/i-love-cock.html

gayhehe:

From the Reunion '07 thread on the577.com:

Josh: Mel, is there something like a code name or group name we need to give the travel agent? You think she could give us better deals since you're getting ALL your friends to go...
Mel: The codename for our group is "It burns when I pee." Just tell her that and she'll know what it means.
Mel: Or you can just say "the reunion group" and she'll know.

A couple days later, Cathy emails the Travel Agent:

Hi, I would like to make a reservation for a cabin with our group. I guess I'm supposed to tell you that "it hurts when I pee"?

The travel agent writes back:

Hi Cathy, I presume you are talking about booking on the 8/18/07 Carnival Triumph round trip Miami to the W. Caribbean with Mel and Samir.

The cruise line doesn't really need to know about anyone's "pee" history, they do need to know if you need a wheelchair or oxygen or special diet though.

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

Co-written by one of my Cal Poly friends...

By Ronnel Leones and Jonathan Gayomali

I'm lying here in my bed
Wishing this nightmare would come to an end
I thought we would last forever
Walking together with you through any weather
But now you're gone and I stand here wondering
Wondering what went wrong with us
Sometimes I don't know what keeps me going
When the world has turned its back
and your love has disappeared
Where do I go to find it
Your love
How long do I wait
"˜Cause I need it
I've never felt this way
And I don't know what to say
To you
You're tearing me apart
I've forgiven you from the start
I keep coming back to stay
And you always push me away
I don't know what to do
When your heart has been divided in two
How did it come to this?
Now I'm here missing every kiss
Our love

Chorus

Always thinking of you
I don't know what else what to do
I did the best I can
In following my plan
To love youuuuu
My love will it disappear

Chorus

I don't know what to say
I love you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsuLL2d8skI