I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is be someone who can be loved.

The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,

some people just don't care back.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust

and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life

but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.

After that, you'd better know something. 

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself

to the best others can do,

but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people,

It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slide it, 

there are always two sides.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.

It may be the last time you'll see them.

I've learned that you can keep going 

long after you think you can't. 

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done

When it needs to be done,

regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,

but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,

but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.

Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,

they're going to hurt you every once in a while

and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.

Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,

the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,

but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.

And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. 

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual

ahead of their actions.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing

and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter the consequences,

those who are honest with themselves go farther in life.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours

by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,

when a friend cries out to you,

you will find the strength to help. 

I've learned that writing,

as well as talking,

can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life

are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice

and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

I've learned to love

and be loved.

I've learned.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad. Afraid, confused, without a road map.

The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

But once in a while, people push on to something better.

Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream.

Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be.

The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And beyond heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

xo_ginalove:

It's funny to me how, even at a young age, we all try to find that sense of love. Not the kind of love that you get from family or close friends, but the kind of love that people seem to have for each other in movies. The kind of love that makes you want to go out and interview every single eligible bachelor in the kingdom and see if he's the one with the right glass slipper.

Sometimes we think we find it. We lose ourselves in this world where only you two exist and nothing else seems to matter. We are young and in love and no one can stop us. You know, that kind of mentality.

But then sometimes, we lose it. And when you're 16 and you think you've found love, there's nothing more devastating than losing it. You mope and you cry wondering if there's anyone in the world that could fix you up. And after months and months of wishing and waiting you begin to think that you're a lost cause; that you're not special enough to be found and will remain lost.

It's funny how we're so fixated on finding true love at such a young age, though we fail to realize that it's not meant to be found. Rather, it's meant to be a surprise.

Two days from now, this time last year, the cosmos will have thrown me a curve ball that basically hit me in the face. Even when I think about it now, it hasn't really felt like a year, considering how long I hope that we'll be together.

He showed up and I wasn't ready for it. I had just ended something that I thought was going to last for a very long time, but it just wasn't going to happen. I was in my first year of college and was starting to feel that sense of loneliness that hits every single college freshmen at one point or another. I prayed so hard that I would find someone to make me feel less lonely, maybe even more loved.

It was like magic, or like a scene from a really bad romcom. He appeared out of thin air and I was so thrown off by his presence. Admittedly, he was a really big jerk when I first met him; a douche rocket in my terms. Yet whenever we interacted with each other, I would trip over my words and myself.

Something about him left me dazed and confused and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what it was. I was frustrated, not only because he was making me sound stupid, but because I looked so stupid in front of him, and I couldn't figure out why.

I won't go into much detail but a few long AIM conversations and skype dates later, here we are. One year later.

Very much in love.

Looking back on everything, it's funny how I was even worried about finding "true love" at that age. How devastated I was when I thought I found it and lost it. I was foolish for thinking I could find it at that age, but it was a lesson well learned.

To everyone that's going through some kind of pain or hurt because of a break up or "lost love":

It may not seem like it now, but all the pain you're experiencing now, is well worth it. There is someone out there that is better for you and that someone will give you everything that you deserve. As long as you give yourself a chance to be open to love again it will find its way to you. But you have to be willing to give yourself that chance because you deserve it. By keeping yourself in a rut of hurt and pain, by dwelling on the past, you're doing yourself a great diservice and putting yourself at a disadvantage. If you keep the hurt of the past inside, you can't open up to the love that's waiting for you on the outside.

Then and Now.

Going through what I had to go through, all the lies, the cheaters, and the deceivers, it was well worth it. It made me strong enough to be ready for a real relationship. I learned valuable lessons from every single relationship I was in and have applied those lessons to this one and that's why I think everything is going so well, even from 2000 miles away.

My Dear,

You've made me forget what I even cried about in the past; what I was so hurt about in the past. You've changed me in more ways than one and all of it was for the better. All my prayers were answered when I met you and as corny as this sounds, I can't imagine my life without you.

I know I'm not like every girl out there. I seem to have more"¦ quirks. if you will, than most others. I'm stubborn and I spit fire at whoever I want too. i'm rude at times and very blunt and vulgar. I eat like a man and scratch my tummy like a snorlax. I can't stand stupid people and make fun of them all the time. I'm surprised you ever picked me in the first place, but I'm so glad you did because I'm always trying my hardest to be nothing but the best for you.

It's almost been one whole year since I met you. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, from staying up with me to help me with a paper to making me smile when I'm crying so hard. I know that there are times we both want to be there with each other, especially those moments when life is the most difficult thing to deal with, but even from so far away, I know you're right here beside me.

I love you more than words could ever begin to explain. I can't wait to see you sweetheart.

Kris Mark:

I've taken part in a pretty wide spectrum of romantic relationships with women. To say I regretted any one of them would be a lie—despite the numerous things that have occurred in my past that could be deemed morally unacceptable.

No, I didn't kill anyone. But I did manage to metaphorically bust a few hearts open. I was once (and only once) the cheater, the cheated on, the victim of denial, the perpetrator of lies, the lied to. I've had my fair share of situations that reinforce every cliché involving karma.

Girls have given me trouble. If anyone has ever gotten the notion that I was just always a ladies' man"¦I don't blame you.

No, don't gag. I'm totally kidding.

Actually, for as long as I've been interested in the womenfolk, I've been the long-term relationship kind of guy. Try that mentality out in middle school and early college—1% of girls are gaga over it. Not to mention, I was the dorky "nice" guy with zero game. I was no stranger to the we-should-just-be-friends stamp, or the why-doesn't-she-like-me-because-I'm-clearly-better-for-her-than-that-douche affliction. I even flipped that around at one point, trying my hand at being the jerk. I gave them trouble too. At first intentionally, then unintentionally. But as most movies involving fickle behavior as a motive of revenge would tell you: being someone other than yourself has its repercussions. I eventually lost sight of why I wanted a relationship. I wanted to find out what love really was. (Insert Foreigner's epic hook here.)

I temporarily gave into the idea of the entire idea of romance being a "game" or just a filler to a void, such that I fell from my high road of being patient for the perfect girl, while working to make myself the perfect guy for her in the meantime.

When I remembered what I wanted, that's when I found her. The girl who quite literally haunted my dreams for an incredibly long time.

I wasn't the charming, reformed suave machine with a clean slate that I had hoped to be once I met her. I didn't think I deserved a chance with a girl like her, but there it was. All I had to do was make sure there was nothing I would regret before I spoke to her. So, I did the most counterproductive, yet most effective thing anyone could ever do when meeting someone they could potentially fall in love with. I was myself.

Not the guy who wanted to fill a void. Not the guy who tried too hard. Just a guy with an incredible curiosity towards a great personality, smitten by the single most gorgeous smile he's ever seen.

Then it hit me—everything I've ever learned, every heart-wrenching situation a girl has caused, or that I've caused myself—all taught me to just remember the purity of why it all happened in the first place. Keep it simple, learn, and be patient. Everyone has their chance.

And honestly, I want every single guy out there to feel like how I feel for her.

Be with someone who can't stay mad at you, who can't stand not talking to you, who is scared to lose you.

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun, and the realists, well, without the dreamers they might not ever get off the ground.

When someone fucks up, let it go. If they keep fucking up, let them go.

Work on being 'The One,' not trying to find 'The One.'

You don't deserve to be loved if you don't have the balls to be hated.

Insecurities are nothing more than a wounded soul. The tragedies of the heart cause damage much like physical tragedies do. So when you see someone with a glaring insecurity, remember at some point, a very deep hurt put it there and as much as you can"¦love them through it. Because you know you've been wounded too.