I should never expect, never demand, never assume.
I should know my limits, know my role, know where I stand.
I won't get affected, get jealous, or get paranoid.
I'll just be happy.
-Unknown
I live my life one quarter-pounder at a time. For those five bites or less...I'M FREE.
I should never expect, never demand, never assume.
I should know my limits, know my role, know where I stand.
I won't get affected, get jealous, or get paranoid.
I'll just be happy.
-Unknown
@[RaelynneRosales](http://twitter.com/RaelynneRosales) i saw something protrude from your vagina today. what the hell?
What the hell is Kevin talking about? Let me take you back to the beginning...
About a month ago, Benny Luo is logging off Skype and he posts his phone number in the chat. "Everyone, just text me your name so I know which number is yours." logs off
Sorry Benny, but where's the fun in that? bwahahahahah
So instead, for the next few days, everyone from the Skype chat anonymously bombards him with dirty text messages.
As for me, I have two phone numbers (my Google Voice number which I always give out, and my non-Google number which I never use). I eventually 'fess up to Benny and tell him that the really gay texts were from me (my Google number).
But I never tell him about my non-Google number.
One night I overhear Benny on BlogTV asking Raelynne, "Hey, which one is your number?" Rae, my partner in crime, plays along and tells him, "oh, it's a 562 number." I quickly text him from my 562 non-Google number, "hey its rae lol".
"Got it, Rae! Thanks," says Benny.
Fast forward to this past week. I'm at the mall and randomly I see a mannequin that is modeling underwear. I figure "Eh, it might come in handy one day," so I take a close up shot of the crotch.
Anyways, last night, I find out that Benny is at the "Eat Drink Pink" event and he's had quite a few drinks. It was evident to me because when Gina asked him where he was, he texted back, "I don't know...lol"
I decide it is the perfect time to send him that picture...but of course, from the number that he thinks is Raelynne's.
Later that night I notice this conversation on Twitter:
@[RaelynneRosales](http://twitter.com/RaelynneRosales) i saw something protrude from your vagina today. what the hell?
@[kevinlien](http://twitter.com/kevinlien) wtheck?!
@[RaelynneRosales](http://twitter.com/RaelynneRosales) haha i'm serious!
@[kevinlien](http://twitter.com/kevinlien) wthell are you talking about?! Lol
@[RaelynneRosales](http://twitter.com/RaelynneRosales) haha benny showed me a picture message you sent him. it was quite graphic haha
@[kevinlien](http://twitter.com/kevinlien) hahaha ohhh from the number he thinks is my number??
@[RaelynneRosales](http://twitter.com/RaelynneRosales) LOL! THAT'S SO SAD. WHAT?!
Bwahahahahaha, mission accomplished!
And if you're wondering what the picture looked like, here it is:
The End.
Love you, Benny!
Here are my "less obvious but still really important to me" guys:
Stan -- My closest friend from high school. We've come a long way since our awkwardly silent two-hour bus ride together for the sophomore retreat, hahah. You're one of the handful of guys that I can legit tell EVERYTHING to. Even though we're both struggling to figure out how to make it in "the real world," I know you got my back...and you know I got yours.
Chris P. -- We both want to make our marks on this world, and you constantly remind me to not settle for anything til we've done it. When I'm running low on inspiration, you always manage to inspire me.
Darwin G. -- My fuckin' awesome college roommate. We had everything in common, man. So many good times. We've completely lost touch since then but you taught me valuable skills that led me to where I am today. You helped me make something of myself and I'll be forever grateful.
Mr. Guillot -- My middle school english teacher...but you taught me SO MUCH MORE than just that -- You taught me to find my own voice; to shine my own inner light. You taught me you how to express my true self in writing. You taught me how to be ME.
Dr. McGeough -- We talked for no longer than 5 minutes but you changed my life forever. You gave me a chance when nobody else would...when even my own college advisors gave up on me. I had flunked out of school...but you got me back in, and I got nothing but A's and B's til I finally graduated.
Of course I have nothin' but love for Mom, Dad, my brothers, UDH, Webb, CPP, BTVfam, TGB and music fam. <3
// Day Five
No regrets here. And I don't fully believe in the notion of predestination or that "everything happens for a reason." I believe God/karma/life throws opportunities at us but it's up to us to make the best of those opportunities.
I can't predict what the future is gonna throw at me, nor can I predict how I'll react to something in the heat of the moment. So to hear that "everything happens for a reason" as if all of the good & bad times in my life were already planned out...that just doesn't work for me.
Whatever happens to me -- whether its life's curveballs thrown my way or results of bad decisions I've made in the past -- I define my own reason.
So instead of posting regrets, here are Six Painful Lessons I've Learned:
Sorry, just had to throw in that extra one, haha.
-Mel
// Day Four
// day three
Okay, that was nine things.
Okay, that was ten, hahah.
She was my biggest heartbreak. I locked up my heart for several years after her (all the way up to this year)...and she still has no idea. She never will. But you make her happy...far happier than I ever could've made her. So for that, I wish you two nothing less than a lifetime of happiness together.
Of all the amazing people I've met in the last two years, you're the only one that STILL gets me hella nervous. But I've learned how to put on a good poker face...so you'd never even know. (;
Two years ago you made a Mel Dollar out of a post-it note and slipped it into my wallet while I was using the bathroom. I still carry it in there with me. I know that we've lost touch with each other a little, especially when compared to how we used to be three summers ago, but you'll always special place in my heart. You're busy doing your thing right now, I'm busy doing mine...but we helped each other get to where we are today. I miss how we used to spend every late night chatting together, but we both know that life will bring close again when we both need it most, just like it always has.
You are by far the most passionate guy I know. When you got your heart set on something good, you go after it. But at the same time, when something rubs you the slightest wrong way, you lose your cool and go after it as well. This year I learned a lot about recognizing my moments of weakness. That way, I could take a step back before I do/say something that I'll regret later. It's something that I'm still mastering...but brother, when you learn to master it, there will be nothing in the way to stop you from doing wonderful things for this world.
I'm not convinced that all of your ambiguous, passive-aggressive posts/tweets are doing you any good. You say it's just for venting cuz it'll make you happier in person but there's a fine line between venting and straight up attacking. It just worries me cuz I feel all it does is make things worse rather than help. I f'ing love you and want nothing less than LEGIT happiness for you.
You are wifey material. Your boyfriend is so insanely lucky to have you. I hope to be as lucky as him one day.
We've been through so much this year. So many good times and learning times. Things didn't work out the way we originally expected from last January...but I cherish everything we've learned from each other since then. I love/hate how you know all of the right/wrong buttons of mine to push...but more importantly, I love how even though we have our fights, we ALWAYS end up with our relationship being stronger. I never expect to meet a perfect someone, or to have the perfect relationship...all I ask for is someone that'll love me for who I am and will stick with me as I grow through life's challenges. That's what you do for me. And I want you to know that I'll always be here to do the same for you.
Honestly when I heard you were comin' back to Cali, I wasn't even sure if I was gonna kick it with you...but I'm fucking glad we did cuz damn, you were there when I needed it most. I'm doin' really good now and a big part of it is cuz your support. Much love, brother.
I tend to not respond to bluntness very well...but I respect it when I get it from you. You're not afraid to call me out when I act like a spoiled shit. You were one of the very very few that was really there for me when I needed it. You helped me keep my head on straight when I was weak and couldn't think for myself. Much love and respect for all the shit you've helped me through in the past few months.
I'm sorry we lost our friendship. We really did have some good times back in the day. But you have to understand that we had to do FAP without you because it was best for the show. We brought together more btvfam from around the country. We showcased some great talent and featured some fresh faces. We hit max capacity crowd of 1,100. We donated $3,000 to the the Children's Hunger Fund. As long as our goals were accomplished, does it really matter who organized it anymore? Was it ever about personal glory? I hope one day we could all look back on it and only remember what FAP was always about...the fam, the music and the charity.