A Letter to Myself from Mel '08

This is a little tradition I started four years ago. The idea is to email myself using http://www.futureme.org, and have that email sent to me in exactly two years.

Sure, I could easily just write in my journal or blog...but writing an email to myself seems a little more intimate and lets me paint a more descriptive snapshot of what's going on in my life at that very moment.

Here is the last thing I wrote to myself, a little over two years ago (with a few things censored out). Mind you, this is just a few short weeks before I found myself in the newest chapter of my life -- btvfam.

Friday, August 1, 2008:

Hey Future Mel, how's life treatin' ya??

Life is pretty good for me right now. Work is cool...a little stressful cuz of the growing pains, but it's a fun learning experience. [The company] is now 28ish employees with the newest hire being Erin. [...] I still feel like I haven't quite made my mark. I'll be patient though...I believe in [our new CEO].

I spent a big chunk of the morning talking to my co-workers about VIKING QUEST (http://www.cat69.com). Ryan is all, "dude, you wouldn't even have to pack. Just bring a toothbrush and be naked for one whole week." Hahahahahahh.

So Mel, are you still running? I weigh 238ish nowadays, which is 10lbs less since I started little Nike+ SportBand thing. [...] I'm running half as much as I did before the Oregon Reunion, but my progress has been awesome. [...]

So this weekend was a really awesome one. I drove down to SD to kick it with Meliss...and it was such a blast. [...] I think my favorite part of the weekend was chillin' at La Jolla Cove with Meliss, overlooking the ocean. It was so chill and so peaceful. It's one of those moments where you can put life on pause and just appreciate the stillness. It felt like home.

So what's the deal with you and [that one business idea]? Right now the lawyers are doing the paperwork for forming the company. I feel like anything can happen. It might be huge; might be a flop; it might be modest like [my old site that had 12,000+ members]. But regardless, it should be a fun learning experience.

So anyways, how's your love life now? You still crushing on [some cute girl]? You still spend your lunch breaks chatting with Tracie? Late nights with Meliss? You talk to April at all anymore? Have you found it in your heart to completely let go of the whole [backstabbing friend] & [heartbreaker girl] thing? I'm just about over it but there's still a bit of anger there.

Anyways, hope all is well with you. Don't forget to write Mel 2012!!!

Much love,

Mel '08

It's crazy reading this cuz the first Time Capsule email I wrote in 2006, it was just a couple months after graduation and a little before I got my first real job. My future was just up in the air at that point.

Fast forward to now, where I just recently had to quit that very job. Once again, I find my future is up in the air.

I'm definitely gonna keep this tradition alive and write to my 2012 future me. There are a ton of possibilities/questions/worries for me right now and I'm just eager to see how it will all unfold.

We'll see how things are in two years. In the meantime...love, laugh and learn.

Thoughts on BTVfam & FAP2.0

There's been a lot of talk recently about what exactly BTVfam is and what The Featured Acoustic Playlist (FAP) is about. As a BTVfam member that has been there from the very beginning (without a single hiatus) and one of the organizers of FAP, I've heard it all.

In hopes of clarifying who we are, what we're about, and elaborating on what was posted on the BTVfam Tumblr, I want to share my thoughts on everything.

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Everything.

Every person I've ever encountered.

Every heart that's come my way.

Every emotion I've been through.

Every smile.

Every tear.

Every moment of love or heartbreak.

Every moment of weakness or inspiration.

Everything has led me to where I am today.

Right here.

Right now.

This is truly where I'm meant to be,

At this very moment.

mmm mel! i love your hugs and your warming presence..i love that youre such a positive person and you make me laugh all the time. i love that we did strip aerobics and that we've known each other for a while now and i know i can always count on you. i love that i really feel like youre family so know i would bend over backwards for you =) i dislike that...actually i dont dislike anything abotu you or anything. maybe that we live so close and we dont hang out as much? confession..you were the first person i recognized on blog by name..im so forgetful but your blogname always stuck out to me since the first day. =)

—Raelynne Rosales

"The Gods envy us."

I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

—Achilles, played by Brad Pitt in the movie, "Troy"

I love love love this scene. Not because of the religious stuff or cuz Brad Pitt gets half-naked...but cuz it reinforces the idea of cherishing what you have like there is no tomorrow.

Like the final months of each major chapter in my life:

  • My final year of middle school before going off to boarding school.

  • My senior year of boarding school

  • My last summer vacation in Saudi Arabia before moving to the states permanently.

  • My final year of college.

I remember those times better than any other. I knew those moments would be my last, so I really savored every bit of it.

Unfortunately for most of those years in between, I somewhat took for granted. I kinda lived through those years by just going through the motions of things. It's just too easy to fall into that kinda trap when you have that overoptimistic mentality of "forever."

But when you realize that all things in your life could be pulled from right under you at any moment...you learn to truly appreciate everything.